Dominant Genetics
by Sabre Dance
Summary: Neku's life is back to normal. His friends are normal, his routine is normal, and his parents are...obtuse...wait, what? That's not right...yaoi/crack/boredomness.


**Empty eyes: Whee-woo! The one and only empty-eyed dreamer here, and ready to begin my next conquest of the fanfic variety.**

**Neku: Oh god...And also, that made no sense.**

**Empty eyes: I believe you mean "Oh Joshua"**

**Neku: Hellz no!**

**Neko-lily: Neku, you're so lucky...I envy you.**

**Neku: Huh?**

**Empty eyes: Just read. **

**Sho: *blasts through wall and kills everyone* Sons 'a' digits! You're so zetta slow at getting to the disclaimer! Empty eyed Dreamer doesn't own anything! She's a useless radian!**

**Empty eyes: T^T And yet I'm happy he's here...anyways, on to the story!**

* * *

Neku Sakuraba awoke on a fine Saturday afternoon when the mid-day sunlight finally managed to make it through his window, and straight onto his face. He groaned and rolled out of bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. _It feels good to have things back to normal._ He thought as he pulled on his clothes and then made his way downstairs_. After all that reaper game crap, it feels nice to be able to sleep in as long as I want to..._The orange-haired teen stretched his arms high into the air as he turned into his kitchen-and promptly ran straight into a monstrous pile of junk. "What the f-" Neku began as he frantically backpedalled out of the kitchen.

"Who the hell would leave a huge pile of junk smack in the middle of someone's _kitchen?_" he yelled to no one in particular as he clung to the hallway wall. Of course, there is only one person who could have done this, but Neku was absolutely positive that the last time that he had seen that person; he had been lying dead underneath a pile of his own junk...

"So zetta slow!"

_Oh god. Kill me now. Please._ Neku thought as he slowly turned around to face the all-too familiar voice. To the headphone-wearing boy's horror, it was indeed the one-and-only grim heaper, Sho Minamimoto. He looked exactly the same as he had pre-tabooation.

Except for the fact that he was a wearing a suit and tie. That was weird.

"You're SO ZETTA SLOW, son! You should've been up ages ago, you hectopascal! I have zero tolerance for slackers, understood? CRUNCH! I'll add you to the heap! Now hurry up and get ready for the family picnic! Your mother will be there any minute!" said the math-obsessed reaper. That is, if he still was one.

For a few seconds all Neku could do was making squeaking noises and point at the garbage, but he managed to choke out one word "Son?" he asked scratchily.

Sho rolled his eyes as if Neku were the insane one. "Duh, you factor! I'm your Poppa. Now unless you want to face your mother's wrath, you'd better get in the car BEFORE I count to infinity!" Not leaving the orange haired boy any time to respond, poppa Sho grabbed Neku by the collar and pulled him outside then threw him into the car.

"Eh...??" Was all Neku could choke out as the obviously mentally-challenged reaper drove crazily through the city streets, swearing and making annoying math references to every driver he passed._ What the hell is going on?_ The former dead boy thought to himself,_ He breaks into my house, pretends to be my _father, _kidnaps me, and then goes into road rage mode on a pedestrian-filled street?? He's nuts._ Just then, Sho slammed on the breaks, sending Neku flying forward into the front seat of the car with his limbs flailing wildly. Sho turned to him and raised one finger in the air.

_Oh god, he's going to kill me!_ Neku thought in what seems like a fair assessment.

"Neku, my dear boy, you should always wear your seat belt! Take the example from your dear, loving father here, you zetta moron, you!" He said scoldingly.

"I would if he was here!" Neku shouted back indignantly, one of his eyebrows twitching spastically. In response, Sho whipped out his megaphone from god-knows-where and began to lecture the orange-haired boy.

"Now, now! None of that teenage rebellion bull shit! You will behave, unless you want your mother dealing out the punishment, hectopascal. He's a real bitch-monster when he's pissed, remember?" And with that, Sho swung Neku over his shoulder and made his way into the park they had stopped the car by.

Neku pounded furiously on the back of the overly-enthusiastic mathematician in an attempt to make him let go, but to no avail. Then he realized something odd._ Wait. When creepy Mcnerderson was talking about my...Uhh... "mother"...didn't he call her a..._

"_He?"_

Before even getting a chance to ponder this, Neku was thrown to the ground unceremoniously. As he sat up, rubbing his head and muttering curses directed at Mr. Minamimoto, an all-too-familiar voice spoke up very close to him.

"Having fun, Neku?"

* * *

**Neku: You're sick.**

**Empty eyes: It's gonna get worse, orangey.**

**Neko-lily: Muahahaha. We have plenty in store for you. =D**

**Sho: *takes out megaphone* Attention all radians! You better review or else I'll shove a protractor up your ass!**

**Neko-lily: O.o**

**Empty eyes: That was a bit violent, but it'll do. Here's your calculator back.**

**Sho: PATHAGY!! *hugs calculator***

**Everyone: O.O**


End file.
